It's always been You.

So you can call this sort of life a hopeless endeavor,
that this tiny vessel could ever endure such violent weather.
Call it pointless.
I’ll continue to carry out Grace nonetheless.
I will scream it till my face is blue.
There is a point to all of this, and it's always been You.

                       - Being as an Ocean, by Dear G-d




Hey. So haven't been on here for, like, pretty much ever. My life has been twisted and turned inside out and upside down so I thought this was a good time to start back up.


Have you ever been like welp here's my mission in life. Here's the little box God wants for me. Here's what I'm good for and my purpose in life. Here's what I'm going to put 100% of my energy into because I think it's what God wants from me. Have you ever felt like that? It feels pretty settled. It feels good to know what to do and to think as long as I do this God will be satisfied with my performance. As long as I pursue this career that I think he wants from me then I can rest assured that I'm doing this Christianity thing right.

Have you ever felt like this and then lost everything? Have you just failed and had no clue where to go from there? Have you completely blown it and rethought everything you've ever thought you knew about God's plan for you? Have you broken everything you've been working for and thought God couldn't possibly have expected this for me? He couldn't possibly have foreseen these road blocks. He couldn't possibly redeem my inadequacies. That's it. I'm done for. I've failed God's vision for me. He trusted me with this, and I couldn't even do it. What good am I? Without this thing, I have nothing to offer.

Because that's how I feel.


And I want you to know- or more accurately I want to remind myself- that these are lies. Satan's lies. This is basically a load of crap that we force feed ourselves.


Hi. My name's Moriah, and I am imperfect. Actually, I'll go one step further. I am deeply flawed, and my screw ups don't just set me back. They hurt the people around me. They cost thousands of dollars, and sometimes my life already seems over.


Hi. My savior is perfect. He was put to death by the people he came to save. Every ounce of His blood brought me back from the dead and gave me a new life. With this life I am BLAMELESS before He who made me. I am beautiful and loved. Nothing can ever separate me from this love. He knew I was gonna mess up, and yet, He died for me, rose for me, and prepared for me a future of prosperity on earth and a home for eternity.


Everything else is put into perspective when you think about it that way.